On the Edge (The Grange Complex Book 1)

Dexter

The banquet with Victoria was three days ago. Her demands were childish. I didn’t get why she was so obsessed with me and my cock. Since that day in her swanky apartment my dick hadn’t gotten hard unless I thought about Sasha. Harry had some good ideas, and we were planning to execute them soon. I had never wanted to end up like my father, so emotionally bound to a woman, but I knew if I behaved like I have in the past few years I would drive everyone away from me. It was time to bury the obnoxious and lethal Dexter deep in the ground. I missed Sasha. All of a sudden I wasn’t interested in any brunettes, just one particular blonde.

At work, in the apartment, everywhere I went—all I thought about was Sasha. I missed her curvy body, her sassy mouth, and that wet silky pussy that I enjoyed screwing so much. I fought with myself over what I wanted and what I felt. I did love her and I didn’t want to be alone anymore. She was the only person that made me happy. Love terrified me and I was scared that I had lost her. Like everyone else I’d really cared about. In one moment Dad was with me, in the next he was gone. I’d always guarded myself, afraid to get too close. Joey was the only one that understood me, but then he was gone too.

Victoria wasn’t happy with how things ended between us the other night. I was afraid that she would change her mind and just snap. I bet no one had satisfied her the way I had, but someone needed to let her know that the old Dexter had died. The moment I said those shitty things to Sasha, I was done with being a train wreck.

I’d fucked up badly and now I wanted to fix it; I needed to. When I woke up on Saturday morning I was done with thinking about our times together. It was time to get her back.

My mother gladly reminded me about my appointment with Bishop on Monday. No one apart from close family, Sasha, and Harry knew about my issues and I was hoping to keep it that way.

After a strong cup of coffee, I grabbed my car keys and left the complex. I knew exactly where I needed to go, but I wasn’t sure if she would want to listen to me. Our last meeting wasn’t particularly successful. I’d said some things that weren’t relevant to us. Now things were even more complicated.

It took me over an hour to drive to Glasgow. Traffic was terrible. Besides that, I was a nervous wreck: my palms were sweaty and my pulse irregular.

When I arrived on the familiar street, for a brief moment I thought that Sasha might be here, but I didn’t see her car anywhere. But she wouldn’t go back to Glasgow to live with her parents. She had talked to me about Edinburgh.

I’d chosen casual, not over-the-top clothes, and I had practiced my smile in the bathroom mirror earlier on. I had Ronny; I could pay him to get me her address, but I wanted to fix this the right way. Sasha needed to see that I had made some changes in my shitty life, and if this was going to work, I had to start from the bottom.

I cleared my throat and knocked three times. There was a small Fiat parked outside, so someone was definitely at home. My fucked-up heart skipped a beat when I heard footsteps, and a few seconds later Sasha’s mother opened the door. She was in her jeans but had no make-up on. Her eyes took me in, widening slightly. She didn’t look happy and I hadn’t even opened my mouth yet.

“Kath, please, I need to talk to you. This is very important,” I said, switching straight to her first name. It was a huge risk, but Sasha’s mother looked like she didn’t take any bullshit.

“Is my daughter with you?” she asked, opening the door wider and glancing outside.

“No, she isn’t. I screwed up and she left. You’re the only person that can help me. I need her new address.”

I sounded like a complete douche, but I knew that if I convinced her mother, then I stood more chance at gaining Sasha’s trust. This could go either way—she could invite me in or throw me off her property. The second option wasn’t very appealing.

She took a sharp deep breath and looked up the road, like she was afraid that someone would see us.

“I’m not going to talk about Joey.”

“I’m not here about Joey. All I care about is your daughter, Kath.”

She hesitated for a moment, probably weighing her options. Then she opened the door wider, nodding to me to get inside.

“Let’s go to the kitchen. My husband is upstairs. He’s sleeping and I don’t want to wake him up.”

The house looked old; the kitchen needed updating. I probably had only five minutes to convince this woman to give me Sasha’s address. I bet she’d moved to Edinburgh like she planned.

“Dexter, right?” she asked when we sat down at a small table in the kitchen.

Tyndall. I used to be Sasha’s neighbour

Her expression was detached. I needed to show her that I did care about her daughter, that

it together, you

hospital in the past few

eyes were looking straight through me. I couldn’t bullshit her, even if I tried.

her life. It took her a year to pick up the pieces and start living again. Sasha doesn’t need another Kirk. He

idea what happened with her douche ex, but this wasn’t the time or a place. Besides, what was I expecting? A warm cup of tea and sympathy? No. Sasha’s mother didn’t

Sasha tell you what happened

her face. She talked about you a couple of weeks back. She said that

right. Your daughter is a wonderful woman and I want to make her happy. Yes, I did sleep around before Sasha, but I was always open and honest about my lifestyle choices. I had never promised anyone a relationship. Your daughter

me happy, too, more than thirty years ago,” Sasha’s mother said all of a sudden.

that I needed to hear. I

probably

pausing. Right, I was losing her. “This whole thing with the apartment and Joey, it only pulled us

I really don’t care about Joey. I want Sasha. You don’t need to explain anything,” I said. This wasn’t going the way I planned. I was a pretty screwed-up guy with a fucking mental illness. Joey

keep it that way, but my daughter… she deserves an explanation and I

sorry, but you’re

firmly. “My father remarried when I was fifteen. Mum had died of cancer years earlier. We had each other and we were happy… well, that’s what I thought. Dad met a woman, things developed quickly and he married her. Joey became my stepbrother and he came to live with us just after a year. Things weren’t easy. I didn’t really like Gill, my step-mum. I hated Joey with a vengeance, but soon that hate turned into something else, something that neither of us understood. Cutting this story short, we ended up falling for each other. Years later, Gill divorced my father and Joey went away to university. No one knew we kept in touch, but as usual, life got in the way and I found myself engaged to Sasha’s father. Joey never promised me anything, and when he came back to Glasgow he asked me to run away with him, to leave Robert. That day, my father caught us in the garden. He went ballistic and he threw Joey out. My family didn’t want a scandal, and my Dad didn't want me to break the engagement. Our love was crazy, but it remained unfulfilled. Joey became very successful and he came back for me. A few days later I found out that I was pregnant with Sasha and I decided to go ahead with the marriage, with my

wasn’t expecting this. When I came here today I thought that I could get Sasha’s address and disappear. It looked like Kath was a dark horse after all, falling for

saying that Joey had left me a property. It was such a shock. I had thought about him over the years, but I never looked for him. We drifted apart, but he made sure that I’d remember

I don’t think you should be telling

me. All these years I’ve been questioning myself, asking if I made the right decision. I was always worried about other people, about my father and family. I sacrificed my own happiness and I don’t want this to happen to my daughter. It’s

didn’t know what I was supposed to do. My head felt overloaded with information. Love was so fucked up, and yet I was still pursuing it. Eventually I got what

talked about Sasha’s mother, but I

straight to Sasha, but I went to one of the stores in the retail park. This was something that I felt I needed to do first. The hospital pushed some bad memories through, but Bishop and Jones had helped me. They pushed and pushed until I agreed to take the meds and admit to them that I needed help. I paid upfront for a flat-screen TV and asked the guys in the store to pack

with sweat when I arrived at the psychiatric ward. Everything looked the same. The TV wasn’t too heavy, but I still managed to get into a fight with a fucking security guard who didn’t want to let me through. In the end, I made a hell of a noise and disturbed the usual deadly silence on

the staff room carrying the box. There were other nurses and

was in the neighbourhood and I thought I’d pop in to see if you all missed me,” I said sarcastically, putting the TV on the table. I should have paid people to do this shit for me. They were

asked someone

wondering what the hell was wrong with

Nurse Jones said.

done, Jonesy. You scored. Now tell us all, what do we use the

to be in this room. Why did you bring this TV in here? I’m

the same fucking magazine all the time, so I

her to start shouting again, but for a really long and awkward moment she just stared at me. I didn’t like that look on her face. The other nurses

a TV?” she

“Yes, Jonesy.”