One Sided Love

(After Few months)

Kate

I looked like a fat buffalo .... damn my stomach is so huge that I can't even looked at my feets... Alex parents laughed about it n say that im carrying a Robbins baby so its normal...

I do notice that whenever the topic of my pregnancy came along Alex become guarded n very tense... like my baby is becoming more real to him.... some things have changed like he now never left the bed when we have sex .... he do ask my appointment but never visit to one of the appointment with me... those moments make me believe how firm he is about his decision regarding my baby girl... he never ever asked about the gender of the baby but he do notice the things happening around him.... like his mom n Rachael helping me setting a nursery... Rachel has become a good friend of mine n in every visit she bring pink nursery stuff n clothes ...the nursery is not big its a tiny room but since its near my room im ok with it... My father do visit our home to take emma to his house or park but never he asked about my baby n me ... but he some how become a little bit civil ... he greet me n then ignored me which is fine by me.. but when I saw him with emma ... how he changed to caring n loving grandpa I also want this for my daughter... but I know it will never happen because im giving birth to her n because of me she will never loved... but I will try my best to make Alex n my father loved my baby too...I don't know how I will do it .... god help me on this.... 

Doctor has told me to be ready on next month when my little girl will came into this world... n Im so scared will Alex be there for me...will he be holding my hand n hold her child for the first time... I wished he will..

Alex has gone to my father house to pick emma... me n martha are preparing the dinner ... when Alex n Emma have comed... emma start running n hugged me tight

I laughed ' Hi my fireball ...hold on a little let me sit I can't even see you when you hugged my leg because of my huge tummy'

Emma giggled n I with difficulty sit in the chair... my pregnancy is proving a little difficult to me day by day especially when I have to sit or have to stand... n in night when I have pee I can't even turn properly n at take me ages... Alex never helped me in those moments but since I never asked who can blame him... but Martha has become a supporting soul in this where she helped me something to stand ... put my swollen feets in warm water.... 

Emma said ' when the baby come out of your tummy mama'

I see Alex was standing there n he become tense when he heard about baby but he say nothing 

'Soon

... I have a feeling something is wrong but

Alex

her in her pregnancy... I saw how she winced when she sit or stand... how difficult is for her to turned n go the bathroom in night... how are breathing changed when she walked n take a support of any chair or table to stand.... n in some day how are feets become so swollen that she can't walk properly ... n how she rubbed her shoulders n give herself those small massages to soothe her

me to massage her back n shoulder ... n I loved those moments... if I ever

mother cry in front of me n said that how much she missed Emily n after kate given the birth .. emma will be neglected ... I told Mona

in a wrong way but this way emma will be loved more n you will have a new family too... you think you know kate .... what no one knows better than me... once her baby is born she will try to make you loved the baby more n this way emma

 ' No Mona... this will never happen ... I told kate n im telling you emma

you will always put my dead child daughter first n no

somehow the words come out in my mouth '

Kate 

when I come to get Alex coffee ... she looked to me n said ' Kate I want

her hands n said ' yeah Martha ..

accident n he is alright but my daughter needs me... she had called mant time to come to her... but

plz tell me if you need anything.... now go n packed your stuff n don't worry about

hugged me n say

n went to his office ... he was staring his laptop screen... I put his coffee on table n give him a shy smile ... he looked n give a hesitant smile n moved to look at something on the screen ... I moved to stand beside him n kissed his lips n neck n said