Royalty Gone Bad novel Chapter 65

Asahd’s POV:

I went up the huge stairway with a smile on my lips. I’d finally admitted it and had told her. What had convinced me that it was love I felt for her, were how complicated my feelings were concerning her. How jealous I was towards Noure but most especially, how Saïda made me feel. She made me feel like no other girl had before. I could spend a week away from all of my former girlfriends or stay without seeing them for days, yet I’d never reacted the way I’d done with Saïda.

Irony was, Saïda had not even been away. She’d been in that palace with me throughout that week, yet I missed and craved her like she was a thousand miles away from me.

I’d felt like if I had not kissed her before retiring to my room, I would’ve gone crazy or something. The need to kiss her had caused some heat and frustration in me, making me uncomfortable and making it feel like my tie was choking me and my suit swallowing me up or something. My reaction had surprised me because never ever had it happened before. My heart was palpitating and all I’d thought of was to find her and kiss her. Kiss my frustration and desire away for a while. Because for sure, they weren’t gone and would never be.

′If that isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.

It is love. But with a tad bit of obsession in it. Perfect.′

I thought in amusement, finally getting to the top of the stairway. I couldn’t keep the smile I had on, off my face. Still feeling the taste of her strawberry ChapStick, I ran my tongue over my bottom lip. I had to have her. I had to.

--

Saïda’s POV:

It’d been thirty minutes since Asahd had left me in a terrible state of confusion, anxiety and want. I stared at my reflection in the mirror of my bath. I’d sobbed a little and so my face was stained with dried tears. I was so confused and my heart seemed to ache. I couldn’t stop thinking of his words..

-I’m deeply in love with you, Saïda...-

I buried my face in my palms again. I had mixed feelings. I was sad because my head was even more messed up as well as my feelings, but deep down somewhere in me, his confession had caused a sweet spark, a sweet feeling. One that felt like either relief or happiness. I didn’t know which exactly and all the thinking made my head hurt.

′Saïda you love Noure.′

I tried hard to keep my thoughts focused on that. On Noure.

“I have to go see him,” I thought, bending over and opening the sink to wash my face. “I have to tell him not to come here until our engagement. We’ll meet elsewhere. But never here. Not with Asahd around.”

I’d taken Asahd’s little threat seriously. I knew what he was capable of. He had no shame and definitely did not care. And cherry on top, he was so stubborn and would ignore my pleas if I went to beg him. Proof was when, during our last night in New York, I’d begged him to stay away from me once back in Zagreh. He was so stubborn and literally argued with me. I’d begged him and had tried to convince him but it seemed like I’d been talking to a brick wall. If I’d not used the ruse of telling him that if he cared for me, he had to stay away, Asahd would’ve never accepted. And even till then, it was lie! He’d promised and yet, he kissed me and broke his promise a week after our return. Some part of me knew it would happen, that he would break it, but I’d wanted to be optimistic. To believe he would keep it!

What had just happened was another proof. I’d begged him not to approach me, to leave me alone but he caught and kissed me.

I’d begged him to stop but he’d kissed me deeper. I’d asked him why he was doing this to me but he ignored my pleas and question. He told me...he loved me. I begged him not to say that, but he repeated it, being deaf to every single plea of mine. I told him I loved Noure to drive him away but he mocked it off, calling my words “blabber” and saying that he’d not come to listen to me but for me to listen to him. He’d actually threatened to react inappropriately if he saw Noure and I in the palace together. I saw in his eyes that he meant every single word.

That was who I was messing with. That was Asahd Usaïd. Once he’d set his mind on something, it was rare that he changed plans. He was so stubborn and determined.

What disturbed me most was that I knew that deep down, I loved his way of being. I liked how stubborn and determined he was. Yes I was begging him to stop and when he didn’t, it would awaken something in me, cause a sweet reaction deep down, hidden somewhere in me. That was just how confused I was. I couldn’t explain what was happening to me. The fact I was denying and finding it hard to admit was that Asahd had touched a spot in me. He’d awakened something in me. It had forced me to have feelings for two men at the same time. I loved Noure but what I felt for Asahd had no name. It was a mystery to me. It’d caused so much confusion in me and seemed to grow even more powerful with each day. What could I do to get rid of it? Did I want to get rid of it?

“Oh no,” I covered my face again, feeling my eyes prickle.

′Is it because he made me discover a lot of things I never had, before?? That must be it! Maybe that’s the secret. Or is it? It must be.′

I left my bathroom with more confused thoughts. I grabbed my phone and texted Noure. He soon replied:

-Sure my love. We can meet. Come to my place, my parents are gone for the day.-

-okay.-

I immediately wore my flats and left.

***

Noure and I were seated in his parents huge living room.

“So how are you doing, my love?” he asked, kissing the top of my hand.

“I’m okay,” I cleared my throat a little. “Darling I came to tell you that maybe we should stop meeting in the palace.”

“Why?”

“I think my father doesn’t really like the idea of us seeing each this often,” I lied.