SAGE

Sage Miller

I was almost glad summer is almost over. Looking back I realized how much crazy the summer has been. I realized that I didn't even celebrate 4th of July but it's not like I've ever celebrated it.

I won't say I'm happy to wake up early and having to deal with insufferable teachers.

Well I look at it this way, only two years until I'm out of that shit whole. So that's a plus right?

It's been two weeks straight since I last saw Alora. Guilt wouldn't let me go through with what I told her and pride didn't let me apologize.

I'll admit this much, I did shameless things. I hid my number and called her numerous times and said nothing when she answered just to hear her voice.

I'm pathetic right?

I miss her but I can't have her nor do I wanna lose her. I can't stay with her and I don't wanna keep her either.

It's fucked up. I'm fucked up.

At least one positive thing came out of this summer, I got to do the only thing worth doing, spending time with Eve.

She has been more calmer and relaxed even though I dealt with a few breakdown courtesy of Styles. But I would choose those breakdown than dealing with an aftermath after Clara break her.

Well Styles..... Styles is the Godfather. There's nothing I can do about it. That one night I got to see him vulnerable was never mentioned. It was as if it never happened. Either he doesn't remember or he's pretending but either way, I never brought it up.

Things between us are different yet the same.

He gets pissed when I spend too much time at Zac's. Especially when Mason's there.

It's still a mystery how he knows everytime Mason is there.

Sebastian is another story on its own. He's pissy and it's annoying. I choose to avoid him most of the time.

Well Connor is still Connor. He gets busy with his night job and we find time to party when he's free.

I can say it's been a good summer just not the one I had planned.

My phone vibrated as I opened the door . I took it out and my lips curved upwards.

'Shopping this Saturday. And I'm not asking it's an order. It's your big sis talking'

I smiled brighter reading the text from Eve. She was pulling rank on me. it's funny because I look older than her. People often mistake me for the older sibling.

'I thought you hatred shopping?'. I replied and not even seconds later a response appeared on the tiny screen.

"I don't anymore.'

We texted for almost twenty minutes before we said our goodbyes. About a year ago we didn't do this. We didn't text sharing funny stories.

About a year ago our lives were different. We fought just to make it through the night.

"Mummies and zombies aren't the same." Connor argued once more.

We just finished watching 'The mummy' but I couldn't even remember how we got to this argument.

"Yes they are." I repeated for the thousand time.

"Your hypothesis is disproved by all the data. You're just clinging to your logic out of stupid stubbornness." He said and I gasped.

"You're showing a shocking ignorance at the subject at hand." I argued back. I'm stubborn, I can't help it but on this case I wasn't just stubborn.

"Mummies are wrapped in bandages and they dont eat brains." He pointed out.

"That's called a fashion choice as for the brain part, that's a lifestyle choice. They might be vegan." I stated in a matter of fact.

He huffed in annoyance. This argument was dragging on forever because someone AKA Connor didn't wanna agree that zombies and mummies are the same.

"If a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie however if a mummy bites you, you turn into a dickhead with a mummy bite." He smugly said with a stupid smirk.

"That's where you're wrong because-." As I was about to prove this fucker wrong. The door bell rang.

At first I ignored it not really wanting to go open the door.

"You go get it." I told Connor but Connor wasn't having any of it.

"No you get it. I got it when the pizza guy was here. It's your turn dude."

We had an agreement that we'd

the door already annoyed at the

I opened the door my jaw dropped. I was suddenly glad Connor wasn't the one

I breathed out. Shock was evident in my voice and

had his hands in his pocket and he was

was so damn unreal. I had to blink to really believe

we talk?"

eyes showed how guilty he really

Sebastian Wilder

much

over me. She chose her countless boyfriends over me over and over again until I decide I didn't

me Connor was staying with him I felt like he was choosing him over me too. I felt neglected and hurt. It felt like he was

the truth

every time mom chose something or someone over

choosing everything over me. It

stayed away out of stubbornness of not wanting to apologize.

him. I became

didn't like me like they did him. I still wonder how Connor

all, my own mother couldn't stand me. Her own son. Her

the

antisocial and an asshole. I don't know how to put my foot

was nice enough for people to like him. His charm got him everything. The girls and he could get out of any trouble using just his

nice. I mean really fucking nice. People like him. Everyone, even I like him. And when I

and

are

me. I try so hard to be nice but they just feel so intimidated and

Well not all of it but he knows

mom is a crack hoe who couldn't care two cent about her piece

as I can remember I had to

a neighbor who enrolled me in school I wouldn't have went to one. That's why I'm

school to find her past out on the sofa or high as a

whatever left over I'd find and if they weren't any, I'd

always opted to go to Sage's house after school so I could at least eat. It sounds pathetic now

okay. I'd still loved my mom back then. I'd

up and I hid it well. And when Sage's mom started being gone for days I'd spend my days at his house to avoid

joined a gang for money. The pay was good and I could

more asshole you are.

it's my place

the story I didn't

me it's best if we don't go inside because Connor was staying with him. I felt neglected, like he was choosing

everything. I wanted my best friend back. I know Connor will never forgive me but at least I would've

Connor I needed

door. I'm just hoping Sage will

again and because I know how lazy Sage

was hung low and my hands were shaking so I

and I slowly

Sage breathed out. I was so relived he was

said my name fooled my mind that things

asked

we can." He sounded relieved.

inside?" I

He sighed. "He still pissed so it's best of

saw his anger first hand when I

car and he leaned against it. I just stood there not knowing

opened his mouth then closed

soon as those words

never had to apologize and mean it in my life and it proved to be more difficult than my head made it out to be. Being real was more difficult than

Sebastian. Maybe a few weeks back I would've been able to guess but right now I have no expectations. I don't

things because I was blinded

to anyone ever again. My mom's boyfriends

a piece of bread. When I was old

my friendship I'll try the best I can to apologize. I'll swallow

because I didn't wanna admit I screwed up. That I fucked up bad. I'll admit, at the beginning I didn't see my mistakes. I mean you were doing it so why couldn't I. My mistake was not considering my friend's

That's why I'm friends with him. I can vent to him and he'd listen without saying anything until I need him

to someone whine

I realised my flaw. I reaped a family apart. When Connor said Ms Simpson wasn't her mother. It broke something in me. Her cries as Connor walked away haunt me in my sleep. I guess I deserves that after what I did. And when I went there to actually apologised I knew I wouldn't have meant it. I went there just to say I'm sorry so you'd think- I don't know. It would've been an empty apology. Then I couldn't deal with the fact that I ruined something because it reminded so much of mom's words. I was in denial and I was blaming you because you kept saying I should own up to my mistake and what I didn't wanna do. Then you started hanging with the Godfather and I couldn't even join you because I was a fuckhead. I started being bitter and resenting you for it. It actually took a druggie in my building I'm dealing to that I've been hanging with the last couple of weeks to snap me out of my daze. Then it took me days to actually get the guts to come here. I actually stood across