The Alpha

My chest felt like twenty-pound weights were laying there. My head was pounding from the constant crying and my eyes were burning. I felt the desire, the need to find my release, but I had no tools and my nails weren’t very dangerous.

'Clock.'

'Break the clock and cut.'

( ‘Violet, no.’ )

'Break.'

'The.'

'Clock.'

'Cut.'

My mark burned when I rolled over and grabbed the clock, throwing it on the ground. It thudded and made a cracking sound so I reached and threw it down again. Agonizing seconds passed by while I waited for the clock to smash.

Once it did, I pulled up off the bed, not able to be seen from the door, crouching down to find the sharpest piece before slumping down.

( ‘Violet, don’t do this. Stop. Derek told you-’ )

'Ugh, shut the fuck up!'

'Let’s go!'

'Cut!'

I blocked out Sage, let out a shaky break, undid the previous bandages, and began to slide it across my wrist. My mark pricked in pain and I sped up the cutting, altering between my wrists.

I’ll be perfect.

Like the girls he wants.

'You’re the definition of imperfect.'

'He wants blondes, not you.'

I heard footsteps banging down the hallway, a sob escaped my lips as I knew what was about to happen, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wasn’t in my headspace, I couldn’t control this.

Blood coated my forearms, dripping on the sweater and jeans. The sound of the door flying open didn’t break my concentration.

I dug the makeshift dagger in my skin, but I could feel it getting dull.

“Violet!” a voice yelled.

I continued to cut.

Brown shoes stood in front of my black ones. My hands were pried from each other with a hard grip. My head spun as I felt him grab under my arms and hauled me into the bathroom.

“N-no,” I whispered weakly and he shushed me.

My head started to get fuzzy as he set me on the sink counter, running water, grabbing a towel, and applied pressure to my wrists to fix them. My wrists were numb and sizzling.

He stood between my legs and I whimpered as my headache increased. I put my head in Derek’s shoulder, my tears wetting his shirt. He opened the cabinet with his foot, pulling it up to the counter, barely moving me.

He pulled out his phone and barked some orders then he set me against the bare wall where the mirror would’ve been, and stepped out of the room. My eyesight was blurry and my wrists lazily laid at my sides, the towels sitting over them.

He came back in with a short-sleeved nightshirt and some pants.

“Do you sleep with a bra?” he asked in his crisp tone. I shook my head ‘no’ and he pulled me to him. “Violet, listen. I’m not going to look, but I’m taking off your bra and I’m gonna dress you in this shirt,” he spoke steadily, making sure I understood him.

I hazily nodded and he put my arms on each of his shoulders before unclasping my bra, sliding it off my arms. He soon strung the shirt around my head and carefully pulled it down my freshly wounded arms. He then proceeded to put on pants.

He heard the door and told them to come in. Doctor Reseda soon stopped into the bathroom and began wrapping my new cicatrices. She spoke to Derek about my blood loss, and the damage I caused and then left.

Derek turned back to me and growled deeply.

“How many fucking times?” he said in a dangerously low tone. I gulped and looked down. He walked over to me before yanking my face towards his blue flames. “Violet.” he growled, glaring at me, “why?”

Something snapped in my hazy state. Why? It was him! He made the voices do this!

“W-why?” I croaked, bringing my eyes up to him. “You!” I raised my voice, slightly shocked at myself.

His grip tightened, and an emotion flashed in his eyes before neutralizing them again. “You don’t raise your voice at your Alpha!” he shouted at me, I flinched down. “Understand me?” I whimpered. “Words, weakling, words.”

A...Alpha.” he growled once more before picking me up and

on it and walked out of the door, leaving it open. I groaned before turning the other way to

the door closing. I didn’t bother turning over, that was until I felt the bed dip. I swiveled my head and saw Derek in a new shirt and

told me to turn back around and hesitantly I did.

...What is he doing?...

he’s allowed to sleep with

...No...

I didn’t want a pity party, but my wolf wasn’t letting me move,

to trace patterns on

grunted

trying to find the sleep that he was

my hand. I didn't realize I had started the tracing again, but he wasn’t

and moved until he was comfortable. He was still pressing my hand against my stomach, right onto my newly developing bruise, and he didn’t seem to be letting go anytime soon. I tried

he groggily mumbled,

I whispered.

let go of my hand, getting comfortable again. “Just go to sleep, flower.” there was almost a desperate tone in his plea, but I couldn’t, I was wide awake. My

it made my heart speed

away from my waist and sat up. I

didn’t want

slightly fearing what he would do based on my answer. He frowned down

want to go for a walk? Come on,” he slowly reached

shoes, if you need any help, I’ll be out here,” he cautiously let go off

told them they hurt. That wasn’t a lie, it didn’t hurt while I was doing it, it was a relief to me. But after that high,

walked downstairs and out the front door, I subconsciously leaned into him, my fear of the dark

Derek whispered to me, lowly and I was surprised I picked it

the grass under our shoes and the insects doing whatever it is they do. I was growing drowsy from

mumbled, glancing

“Derek,” he corrected.

bad and my cheeks were heating up. “C-can we

a light squeeze

glanced up at him before looking back down. Have you

my walking faltered. My chest felt heavy as I looked up at him with wide eyes. “Like s-sex?”

worded it differently. Did you ever willingly sleep

I answered truthfully,

what about just sleeping? Not sexually, like spending the

did, um- I didn’t want him to,” I quickly rushed out, I didn’t want him to get the wrong impression. “B-but, he’s a lot bigger and heavier than m-me, s-so there wasn’t much I could do,”

didn’t realize I was

up. A small sound of protest left my lips because I

rest against his

tomorrow.” I silently nodded,

“D-Derek?”

“Flower?”

would ever tell him something like that, but I

Flower. Go to bed, honey. I’ll be with you in the morning.” he spoke softly, walking inside his house, up to the room. He lightly laid me on the bed

in my ear. I shuddered and kept my eyes closed, hugging the hard pillow in my arms. “Flower,

body was slightly shaken and slowly I cracked my eyes open to see Derek. I was hugging his

burning eyes and saw

“You were crying.”

up a hand to wipe my wet cheeks. I mumbled my apology for distributing his sleep

crawled over my body, pinning me down. My breath caught in my throat as I looked at

...What was he doing?...

eyes pierced mine and he grabbed my wrist pinning them above my head with one hand, the other grabbing my jaw, I was surprised it wasn’t bruising yet, but this grip was soft. He didn’t want to

I ever find you cutting yourself again, I will strap you down in my darkest cellar,” his lethal voice rang, “or maybe, I’ll let you pay a visit to see

would he? This is the same guy who killed his Father

you,” his voice seemed scornful, but he continued his torture

been a

'Bad Girl.'

body bucked against his and I started to tug my wrist out of his hold, sobs alarmingly leaving my lips. The more I yanked

“G-get off…” I blubbered.

my instant mood change, straddling my lap.

“Vio-”

him, my voice cracking as I wiggled underneath his legs,

had calmed down from his

be g-good. I-I promise…” I could help but stammer. I wasn’t a bad girl, I am a good girl. I

...I’m a good girl...

cursed, “Violet, calm down. You’re a good girl,

whispered and he got off of my hips,