"fuck," it's the seventh time abel has cursed out loud, lowering the flames and stirring the sauce, sucking on his finger that accidentally touched the hot pan. chicken pasta doesn't really scream apologies, but that was the only dish that came to abel 's mind that was full of chaos and arguments.

he hated fighting with noah, and hated it more when it was irrelevant and stupid and all the blame was his to hold. he hated seeing noah mad, the ignorant and disinterested and sickeningly calm noah was his least favourite.

he sighed, folding the pasta into the sauce and letting it sit for a few minutes, leaning against the counter helplessly.

it was rare for them to fight.

of course they had arguments and short spurts of angry words here and there, they even ignored each other on some unfortunate days, but this was different. at least for abel.

mostly it was abel who was mad at petty reasons, and it was noah who would come after him and calm him down and they would talk about the things that were stressing the younger boy.

this time it was noah, noah who never really got mad, and even if he did, he would forget about it as soon as the morning starts and he has to go for work. abel never had to really apologise to noah, but then again this time was different because noah had an actual legitimate reason that was bothering him and abel had no idea how to kill the doubt in noah's mind.

he couldn't just stop talking the chris, he was one of the only reasons abel liked getting out of the house. chris had been there for him at the worsts of times, whenever abel was mad or angry or sad or bothered. chris never failed to make abel feel as if everything is under control, as if abel was okay.

showed seven thirty, meaning noah could be here any minute. he turned off the flames, and grabbed the wine bottle he bought on the way home, placing it next to

sat at one of the chairs, running his fingers through his hair in boredom as he

when he heard the shuffling of the door knob, and he sat up straighter in his chair in anxiousness, biting his

off his shoes but it wasn't late when noah noticed the smell of lavender lurking in the house from a

as much as a look towards abel, pulling at his tie to loosen it and making his way into

and he heard noah sigh out loud before continuing to walk

and soon

his face in his arms. how the hell was he supposed to apologise to noah? and for what? for

few minutes before getting off the chair, making his way to the bedroom and pushing the door open to find noah in the middle of pulling on a t-shirt. noah turned slightly at the sound, looking away as soon as their eyes met, and continued the task, pulling the t-shirt down his

mumbled, walking over to sit on the edge of the bed, and noah just glanced

bit his tongue from saying anything else. he had no idea how to begin apologising, or even if he was supposed to apologise. it was all so awkward, so full of tension and the continuous silence stretching between them made

slowly, voice cautious and slow as he watched for noah's reaction. "and i'm really sorry if i hurt you," he added, and nothing but a loud

swear," he explained and when noah

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