Through the Screen

Chapter 109

abel watches as noah curls further into the bed, liquid amber flushing his skin with a yellow glow, his pale fingers gripping the covers tightly as he was gripping abel 's jumper just a few torturous minutes ago. his dark hair has spread itself effortlessly across his forehead and his pink lips are parted just slightly.

abel looks away.

the once shared closet still holds one too many of his shirts but he's lost the will to actually take away anything from this household more than he already has. he's already drenched the place in silent apathy and crushed the blithe sapphire of noah's eyes, contorting the shade into something that is far too difficult to look at. he has engaged in the larceny of adrian's dimpled smile and the way his fawn eyes were always shining with glee.

he can't bring himself to tear apart whatever that's left of this place.

so he makes his way outside, cowardly hoping that he can just leave without an explanation to his son or his mother-in-law, cowardly hoping that he doesn't have to face the brutality of adrian's tears or another pair of arms wrapping around his torso and asking him to stay. he's one tear away from breaking completely, one plea away from ditching all the rationality he has forced in his disoriented mind and just stay here and watch himself ruin what can't be ruined any further.

if he stays today, there is absolutely no scope for happiness for anyone in this family—he will never escape the guilt, noah will never escape the callous betrayal and adrian will never escape the wicked ignorance of his parents who are too caught up in themselves to pay attention to what he wants and deserves. he collects every stone of self restraint and places it gingerly on his crippled heart, hoping for absence of heartbreak once he walks out into the living room and attempts to memorise the pattern of noah's papers strewn across the dining and the way noah's shoes can never be in place.

prayers go unanswered because as soon as he walks out he bumps into the

his life because nothing, no mistake can be

hated himself more than he hates himself in this very moment. nothing can compare to the torture of watching such a young child—that too his own—break

the acid under his tongue and watches as

hour ago," he hesitates before continuing. "did you and dad sort things out?" and god if abel wouldn't give every piece of

really," he bites his lower lip to stop himself from stammering. "i-i'm sorry adrian, your dad and i have decided

break. break, break, break. that's all

of anger

day if you want to, but i need to

i wanted was a fucking family! how hard is it to not be selfish

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