Together Forever

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Yes, I have changed.

I am not that pretty little good girl I used to be. I am not that nice anymore once I was. That girl died. I killed her myself. Now the girl who exists is cold, rude, who is heartless, who doesn't have any feelings, who doesn't know the meaning of love and who.......

Many more

But this is what was supposed to be, wasn't it?

How can you be soft and sweet when the cruel world around you is insisting on making you cold?

How can you be good when the person you love hurts you?

How would you feel when the mother who should grow you up with love and care leaves you because you are a burden to her?

Yes, I have changed. I have changed from the best into the worst. But I wasn't like this. My cruel fate forced me to be heartless.

I was 5. Just 5 when the woman I depended on most left me because she needed to enjoy her life, she needed freedom and I was ruining her free lifestyle. I was the biggest mistake, the biggest burden of that so-called mother of me. That bitch just couldn't bear me so she left me alone with my dad and married another man.

I still remember the day she left me. I was too young to understand that she was leaving me forever. I thought she was going shopping as usual and she would come back again. But she didn't. I had cried the whole day sitting beside the window waiting for her. But she didn't come back. And that was the day the good girl died.

I hate her. I hate her most in my life. How could a mother leave her child like that? Isn't a mother supposed to love her child most? And here she left me like I am some kind of useless stuff. That was the last day I saw her and I don't want to see that ugly stigmatized face once again. I don't even think she dares to face me after what she has done to me.

My dad tried his best to keep me well, not to miss that bitchy woman. He didn't even marry again so that I don't get hurt. All his life, he looked after me and just tried to make me feel better. What he did for me, not even a mother can do for her child. He is the best father in the world, he is the father every daughter wants to have.

Though I didn't get my mother's love, I am the luckiest daughter in the world just for my dad. But the thing is that I don't deserve him. He wanted to raise me as his soft-spoken, little princess but I failed him. I turn out as a cold-hearted, workaholic, hardcore who doesn't let anyone get into her own life, not even her dad.

I failed him.

I don't question my father for the girl I am today. I can never. I don't even accuse the judgemental society, the judgmental people who are always there to judge you but not to understand you. I accuse myself. I myself made the me I am now. But I don't regret it.

Even a bit.

Why?

Because trust me when I am saying this; to live in this heartless world, and to deal with heartless people sometimes you just need to be heartless. You can never make everyone happy. If you want to do that, you will end up hurting yourself.

No matter what you did and how perfectly you did, people will judge you. In every sphere of your life, you will have to face judgment. Some people just wait to catch flaws in others. You want to dye your hair pink, they will say, "OMG, what a choice!" You did a new neck tattoo, "Eww... gross. Are you coming from the jungle?" Heck, they will even say your nose is so fatty like gorillas and your ears are so ugly like elephants.

What a comparison, right?

human beings. We have the right to live our life. And might I remind you; our look is ours, our personality is ours and our choice is ours. And for this fucking reason, a girl has the right to cut her hair in Justin Bieber's style if that's what she

THE RIGHT

But our society...

again comes that judgment. We are free but still, we are captivated into the prison of judgment. There is no way to escape from this

you are brave, then

ignore all the hate they are throwing at you. Never expect they will shower you with praises in fact the other way is true. Hate will chase you every moment of your life but if you want to see

I learned and that's why I

supposed to play with, say that they won't play with you because you are

I really that naughty? Was everything

Nothing was my fault. Nothing happened on my own wish. But now

I am cold-hearted?

it

talk about what others think of me. I don't give any fuck about that. They can think whatever they want. But I am the way

I destroy them. If someone even tries to put any scratch on me or my loved ones, I make their life

You call it heartless?

Yeah, I am.

not good to mess with me. Because, the ones who dare to do that, I give them treats which they really don't

You found me rude?

No problem.

my heart so easily because I know the one who is smiling at you now might be the one who will

can rely on. Just I am the one I can trust. It's the lesson I have taken from my

better, no one came as my savior.

Never.

wrong. I am not saying that everyone is evil. There are still some good people in this bad world. But for

In this cruel world, they still have the courage to cherish soft hearts. They still have

unfortunately, I couldn't be like

from a young

friends. I always thought 'friends' are short terms. In the end, everyone will leave. That was what I believed until Leah came into my life. She was different. I don't know why she chose to chase the weird mafia girl out of all the students. I didn't talk to her either but she kept on trying to enter my painful life. She succeeded in

At least she didn't let me down. She won't ever, I know. The

A loving dad, caring sister,

every time, I come to New York, the dark past, the hard days of my life rush back to me. No matter how much I try to forget them, they are like

with us and we

some time alone being isolated from the world is what I do when I get

not a safe place, no place is safe for a girl at this late-night moreover when

feel like leaving. I feel so good and I need

exhale a deep breath and look down at