When Perfect Meets Crazy

I entered the house, confident in the knowledge that only Olly was home and she wouldn’t care whether I looked haggard or not. She would ask but she wouldn’t pry or berate me the way my parents would. And most importantly, unlike my parents, she’d think having a criminal stalk me was ‘cool’ and not a reason to end my life. Honestly sometimes, her thought process worried me. A lot.

“Hey,” she called out with her head in the fridge as I locked the door behind me. “I’m hungry. Should we order?”

“Sounds good,” I replied with a glance in her direction.

I could only imagine what she would do if she was the one being stalked. Knowing her and her affection for the dark side, it was a good thing I was the one who ran into Masked Idiot. She’d make him her best friend if she could.

She shut the fridge and turned to me.

“Pizza or burgers?”

“Any.” I shrugged half-heartedly.

“You looked spooked. Drained,” she commented.

My expression communicated the ‘so?’ very loudly.

“You good? It’s not like you. You’re always put together. Perfect,” she explained.

“Perfect my foot.” I scoffed and threw in an eye roll for good measure. ‘Perfect’ wouldn’t have an unwanted stalker on her tail. ‘Perfect’ wouldn’t sort of be an accomplice to a criminal.

She frowned, eyeing me suspiciously.

“I’m good though.” I smiled. My facial muscles stiffly complied and while my heart wasn’t in it, it was enough to fool her. I could win first place for best fake smile in the world. I perfected my technique a long time ago. No one could tell the difference between my real and fake smile. Not even me sometimes.

“Don’t ‘my foot’ me,” she countered.

I could just tell she was rolling her eyes so I rolled mine right back.

“You’re always neat and put together. My sister, the perfect... everything. Even the SATs didn’t spook you.”

I frowned at ‘perfect everything’ even though a large part of me understood why she said it.

“They aren’t scary. It’s actually designed to help you pass,” I replied, my big sister streak kicking in.

I had passed the SATs with flying colors and I did it effortlessly. The whole point was so Olly knew it was nothing to be afraid of. Fear and nerves were what threw most people off. I purposely didn’t study half as much as most of my peers so she would understand it was like any other exam. So when her turn came, she wouldn’t be plagued with nerves. Olly and nerves didn’t work well -probably because she was so self-confident the other ninety percent of the time- and she almost always got nervous about exams.

She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly.

“Riiiight. Save the speech for someone who doesn’t know you’re a borderline genius.”

The way she drawled the words made it perfectly clear she didn’t believe a word I’d said. My efforts were lost on her.

“Is this about the debate?” she pressed, eyeing me suspiciously. “Are you going to lose for like the first time in your life?” She rolled her eyes, reaching for her phone across the table.

“Shut up,” I muttered, wondering just how much was a joke and how much was actual resentment.

She was my sister and I’d do anything for her but that didn’t change the fact that growing up with someone who was the ‘perfect everything’ had to have been hard. Especially since she was always getting compared to me.

I sighed, shaking my head to rid it of the unsavory thoughts. I had bigger problems at the moment -namely the criminal who was probably sneaking into my room right this instant- and I knew she didn’t hate me so there was little point going down that road.

“Don’t worry about it. Sure, losing came late in life for you but I’ll coach you through it. It’s the one thing I’m better than you at.”

Again with the wondering just how much was a joke and how much was actual resentment.

“Zip it. You sing like an angel,” I countered.

Needless to say, my singing skills were less than stellar. I couldn’t hold a tune to save my life and to be honest, I was half convinced I was tone deaf.

“I’m heading up,” I added.

“I’ll let you know when the food gets here.” She threw in a smile, the momentary antagonism more or less forgotten.

“Okay.”

My skirt came off and sweatpants went on. The button-down shirt was also replaced with one of my favourite sweaters, an oversized beige number. I needed that feeling after the day I’d had. I was actually beginning to consider doing one of those ‘forgive me if I have ever wronged you’ social media cleanses because this was more than simply bad karma. Someone definitely had a voodoo doll of me somewhere and was sticking pins in it and placing new curses every three days.

I was about to finish setting up for a study session when Masked Idiot nimbly climbed in through the window. For the first time in my life, I found myself grateful for the tree in front of the window that hid him from view of anyone on the street. My friends had always said I was lucky to have a tree there to help with sneaking out and whatnot but I wasn’t that kid. If I needed to be out late, I could very well come up with a legitimate reason and my parents sort of -but not really at the same time- trusted me. As long as I was home before midnight and they hadn’t specifically requested that I be home earlier, they were fine with it. Anyway, most days, I came home straight after work so it gave them less reason to doubt me. It gave them some sort of sense of safety especially since, given their jobs, they both knew what kids could get up to. Just last month my mom had to represent a kid for drunk driving and theft. The theft charges mysteriously disappeared after money changed hands. Lucky for him, his parents owned a tech company my mom was representing so they could pull such a favor. It was a paid favor but still. Their son got off with barely even a tap much less slap on the wrist for the drunk driving. Anyway, the point was, seeing as I had never gotten into that kind of trouble, they believed I knew better so they were a lot more generous with the reins. That and they were hardly home anyway.

“I’m all set up,” I announced, eyeing him contemplatively as I tried to decide what he’d do while I studied.

with. “Sit...” I trailed off, realizing I had only one chair in

going to let him take my chair and study table. It was my reading place in my room. Plus, I was under no obligation to be a gracious hostess. I didn’t even want him here in the first

my bed which definitely wasn’t going to happen. Sure, he’d been on

in on the beige rug at the

ordered, passing him a pair of indoor

I watched silently as he toed off his shoes, setting them neatly by the window he snuck in

to the rug.

I held

good, thanks.” He shook

a confused person. I was fishing for information primarily but I had pegged

of silence passed.

“I am.”

bit back

two things to go on now; his first name and that he was done with high school. It was

you’re not a senior?” I pressed, my confused frown still in place. I really could make it big as an actress

write it next year,” he said by way of explanation, pushing the

the urge to roll my eyes. How was he even a criminal? He

the side, shook it and

actress of the year

the moment. It’s better to just take my exams later when I’ve wrapped things up,” he managed, stumbling over too many words for even an obtuse seven year old to believe him.

you’re busy.” I cooed, my tone drenched in sarcasm. “I mean, in between stalking an innocent girl, committing multiple felonies and exchanging fists for

-the first sensible

I was five. Seriously. “I think you should take the finals regardless. So you screw up the first time.”

still be schooling there but chances

the name so I continued, “This school must know about your... extenuating circumstances. They probably wouldn’t mind seeing as they’re willing to put it off at all.” I couldn’t mask the

not with a senior. Definitely not enough to let them take time off. That was more a college thing. Was he

it twice improves your chances.” I smoothed

I could

an insight on how to do better next time rather than not

He frowned.

need a mind reader to know that line of thought had never occurred to him. He might be an actual criminal but I was more of a criminal mastermind than

take it, it’s never too early to begin studying.”

it but he didn’t know that. And unlike him, I was kind of a genius so I could cover much in a short amount of time. Studying was more a habit cultivated to please my

to my act of ‘kindness.’ It was

get it right on one try. No offense.”

handle them and it was ‘impolite’. My parents would not have approved. Whenever it managed to escape though, I always pinned on a ‘no offense’ to keep things clean. This was Masked Idiot, however. A completely different case. Our situation was not normal so I was under no obligation to follow normal societal rules. I could just be the unfiltered me without having to apologize for it. I didn’t have to be nice

if you please. I don’t care.” I

his fists, anger rolling off him in waves. The grateful but suspicious

tightly clenched jaw, he bit out, “I

teams favor. I haven’t seen you do one remotely intelligent thing since we met so... Forgive me if I’m a

kill, I’d have been shot, buried, exhumed and then

turned away and made myself comfortable at the study table. “Sit and start studying,” I ordered over my

worth it” before taking position on the floor. I shrugged and flipped my

to get food which I generously shared with him since he was studying or at least doing a good job of pretending to. The creases on his forehead made it look like he was actually stumped by the material and I wasn’t unkind enough to let someone study on an empty stomach.

of that, and probably because he felt a guilty being unproductive while I studied, he reluctantly went back to it, staring longingly out the window every few minutes. It was a little past dusk when he finally gave up all pretense

hours. Aren’t you done yet?

last few sentences in the chapter before calling it a day. I’d never admit it out loud but I was mildly impressed he managed

of drawers and randomly pulled open the second one. I flew off the chair before my brain fully registered what was going on -in my haste, I tipped the chair over- and hurried to

he drawled. “Great

smirk on his face made me want to be erased from existence. Cue instant embarrassment

student

If it was possible, in that moment, I would. There was nothing more embarrassing than a not

A, not boring,” I corrected through cotton mouth and I desperately grabbed for my item of clothing. Damn it,

get your panties in a twist over,” he practically sang. To illustrate his point, he twisted my

excessive height. Some of

I caught one end of it and had

more embarrassing than him twirling it in the air. Why did he even open the second one? Why not

“Let go,” I snarled.

tell.” He wore a wicked grin.  “Who do you wear these

be a

coloured fiercely. Enough that even my dark skin couldn’t hide it. “I just like

wasn’t lying. I really just liked them. Most girls my age wore them. I did too. It was just embarrassing for someone, especially one of the opposite sex, to

struggle for my you-know-what, we ended up ripping it. At which point, he awarded me a sly