Love Aint Always Pretty

Philophobia

- the fear of falling in love or emotional attachment

59

"Are you really sure about it?" I asked.

I feel Nick rubbing his thumb in circles around my shoulder as we lay down on my bed inside my room. Tracy went out to grab dinner and I was left here with a naked Nick Wilde on top of my bed.

"Does Cameron know about it?" He asked me back.

I nod. "Yeah. I told him you could possibly be going."

"What? But you already know my answer to that right? I already told you I'm not gonna go with you."

I sigh. "I know. I was saying that hoping you'd change your mind. But where are you spending it then?"

"Alec's."

My lips starts to frown and I'm sure he noticed it cos he's sighing.

"Savannah, your brother hates me." He says out all of a sudden. "Me and him couldn't be in one house for that long."

I bite my lower lip.

"I missed thanksgiving dinner with my family cos I spent it with you cos you told me so. Now you can't spend Christmas with me? And the holiday break is weeks long. I'm going to miss you. You're so unfair Nick." I say.

He kissed my temple. "We're not even dating remember? Why would you want me to meet your parents?"

I quickly pulled myself away from him abruptly and I just erupted by what he said cos it was true, we weren't together so what's the use of it.

"You know what, you're right." I spit.

"Savannah I didn't mean it that way." He pulled himself up and sat down too.

"Why am I forcing and begging you to spend the Christmas break with me at my home when you're not even my boyfriend. Good catch Nick. Thanks." I say angrily.

I slipped myself off the bed and started grabbing my clothes. "Savannah." He calls out.

I started putting back my underwear and bra on then my shorts then my shirt and then pulled my hair into a bun and just completely ignoring him.

"Savannah come on." He pulls my hand.

I stared at him for a while. "I didn't mean it that way." He says.

"I don't think I'm worthy to be introduced to your parents. You know how fucked up my past was and how complicated this thing that we have. I can't face them. I ain't worthy." He adds

"Let's not make this a big deal. I wanna spend my Christmas with you but you don't want to spend your Christmas with me, I get it. It's not that important to you anyways. It's okay." I pulled my hand away from him.

"Savannah."

I shake my head. "Don't say anything."

•••••

The following afternoon, all of my classes were done for the day. Everyone looked so excited to go home. Christmas was just around the corner, it was already the third week of December and tomorrow was the start of Christmas break but I wasn't really excited for the break. I haven't really thought about going back home even though I already promised my mom and dad that I would be there. I'm surely going to miss Nick during the holidays and how he's not going with me cos he doesn't want to. It's going to be a long break and I won't be seeing him for weeks. It's gonna kill me.

I would already feel the wind changing as it hits my skin day by day. The crisp weather was making me shiver every morning and the thick snow was starting to build up on the streets and corners of WSU. I have been wearing thick woolen layers jackets and sweaters.

"Savannah!!"

I turn around and saw Tracy rushing towards me. "I'm so going to miss you this Christmas break." She hugs me.

I hugged her back. "I'm going to miss you too Tracy."

We pulled ourselves away from each other and I could see Tracy's pinkish tip of the nose and cheeks. "And I'm sure you're going to miss Nick." She nudges.

I smiled sheepishly.

Both of us started walking together back to the dorm, arm in arm. "I haven't packed my clothes yet. Have you?" She asked me.

I shake my head. "Not yet." Because I don't want to go home. "I don't want to leave either."

"Owww you don't want to leave cos of Nick huh?" She teases again.

"Tracy." I shied.

She chuckles. "Im sure he feels the same as well. He'll be on his own cos I'm spending my Christmas at Clyde's so he'll be alone this Christmas. You won't be there to warm him up."

god Tracy. You've gotta stop this now." I chuckle

She laughs.

not spending Christmas with

him to go with me but he didn't want to. But I'm going back to see him

her head on my shoulder. "Why don't you go spend the Christmas break with

to go

know, sometimes I just want to punch Nick in

bent my head down as we walked inside the dorm together. "But I can really see that you do love my brother Savannah even after your complicated relationship. You accepted him after what you found about his past. You didn't judge him unlike those other people. I'm so happy he found you.

away. I'm glad he told me about everything and how

laughs. "Right. Our mom isn't really a huge fan

I smiled.

Nick leaving?"

"Tonight with Alec."

I just want the Christmas break to end already even though

"You've gotten thinner. You have got to tell me

"Oh you wouldn't want to

•••••

following morning, I was done packing, I completely found myself alone inside the room. Tracy has already left with Clyde but as I look back at this room, it's where the best things in life happened to me when I got to college in just one semester. I met my instant best friend which

it cos I'm sure it was

My eyes flared.

"Nick." I say.

He smiles. "Hi."

already left with Alec last

you begged for me to spend the holidays with

lips starting to

sad the entire break and I'm sure as hell I'm going to miss

tight as I could. I feel his arms wrapping

know how your brother will react to

him and kissed his lips briefly.

kissed my forehead. "Let me grab your bag

while he looked at me disappointedly. I tried to tell him about the truth that Nick didn't kill someone but he's still not convinced. He hates Nick so much that

out of your mind Savannah? Really."

you too, Ron." I

you really have the guts to

me you won't do anything. Please." I tell

"Fine. Get inside

I snapped. "I'm riding

at the backseat and both of us hopped inside while I watch Cameron looking so mad at

kill me after this." He

worry too much. He can't. And he

letting me sleep and he didn't wake me up until we reaches outside

It's a manor house."

to him while he was bringing his bag and my bag as well. Cameron looks

I asked

looks

Come on." I tell him as I drag him towards

it for us and they were smiling at me while greeting me

bags and they'll take care of it." I

bags from Nick and he was still looking around

staying inside the room right across mine

They nod.

room is gonna be right across mine."

was looking at him too. The maids followed Cameron's order and

screams so loud as she runs towards

her and hugged her close while she does the same. "Oh I missed you so much!" I kiss her

while she looks up at Nick.

my friend." I

with us?" She

to meet

He says

him.

I hear Cameron laughing.

handsome." She

I glanced at

"Yeah. For ten bucks."

laughed loud. "I'm kidding. He really didn't. I really do hate his

is just smiling

Here comes

rushed towards her. She hugs me as

Choking." I gagged then she

baby girl so much. Look at you. You've grown