no one is oblivious to the tension between the couple at the dining table, eating the dinner silently and not making much conversation because this time, the ice is just too thick to break. noah keeps his eyes fixed to his plate, half playing with the food and half eating it, his mind focused on the brunet boy sitting across from him who has barely touched his food.

abel 's eyes are moving anxiously from one thing to another, checking the time on the clock to watching noah and observing the way adrian is separating the greens from his plate, back to noah again. he has no idea what to make of what happened in the kitchen.

he knew that noah wouldn't just leave him having a panic attack on the floor, but his harsh words and his ignorant behaviour says otherwise. he isn't really bothered about what noah thinks of him, he's bothered about what noah thinks of himself. as he sits here now, he seems to string pieces together, picking up small beads of conversations that were somewhere present in his subconscious mind, and threading them all into one place, which enables him to see how noah is taking this upon himself.

he probably questions everything they have been through, everything he has done for abel, only to come to this—his husband inconsiderately cheating on him with a person who made him insecure beyond repair. and even though abel knows how noah feels, he has no idea how to tell noah that it has, and it always will, be him who he loves more than breathing.

chris wasn't as sweet as noah, he didn't unnecessarily tip waiters because he thought they were having a bad day and he didn't pick out flowers for abel, and he didn't give him that hopeful little smile that makes everything better. he doesn't have eyes which make you want to question your sense of colour, he doesn't have skin that so effortlessly resembles beautiful winter landscapes. he doesn't laugh like noah does, he doesn't touch him like noah does and he will never love him like noah does.

there is just no comparison between them.

blames himself entirely for whatever happened, but he also blames chris. if it wasn't for him, everything would be okay right now, noah

silence as he looks over to his mother, the older woman finishing

going to leave tomorrow morning, but adrian

to leave again, and the only way to keep them together in the house

slightly, and abel watches his reaction, feeling his chest tighten at the expression on noah's face. maybe he really doesn't want abel here, maybe he should just make an

"n-new years?"

a problem?" kathryn raises her eyebrows and noah just shakes his head, focusing

the older woman smiles back, discreetly nudging adrian in the ribs. adrian only stuffs his

of a sudden, feeling himself shrink as all the attention at the table is directed towards him. "i have a flight tomorrow night, so i won't be here for the week," he lies, not looking at noah

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