“Oh, come on it was a joke Richards!” Hayes shouts to me as I get out of the pool.
“Fine, we’re going in the Jacuzzi!” Rochelle says.
Jeff follows behind me.
“Leave me alone Jeff!” I yell.
“Alex! Alex, slow down.” Jeff rushes after me.
When I can no longer walk, I cover my face. He picks at my fingers, until our eyes meet.
I hate that I’m like this. I hate that things get to me, like this.
“Alex are you okay?” He asks.
I shake my head, at the trigger words.
“I can’t breathe. I think I’m having a panic attack.” I say.
I’m pacing the living room, every few seconds I stop to catch my breath.
Everything was too close, everything was too loud. My heart is rac-ing. The air is disappearing.
“Alex. What do I do?” Jeff stutters.
I can’t speak.
shouts my name, I jump, I’m scared. I am
me a hug. My face
“Thank you.” I say.
Tears still fall down my cheek
thoughts. More importantly, I want-ed Jeff to
couch, and I climb on top
Jeff holds my upper back, then goes lower and lower until he reaches my waist. I kiss his
name, but I ignore
Jeff, as if I’m in a trance. I’m just forcing it though. I go for Jeff’s shorts,
offended. I’m still
“What?” I ask.
doing this.” He says.
go of my
are you talking
you what’s wrong, then you throw yourself at me, and you just want to have sex?
I’m nervous. I chew some popcorn, trying to calm myself,
me.”
were crying.”
we barely know each other.”
“So.” I mumble.
his warm, bare chest. He keeps looking at me, he wants me to look at
you liked me?” I
his hair.
“I do.” He’s hesitant.
have feelings for someone else.” He
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